The idea that sex is something a woman gives a man, and she loses something when she does that, which again for me is nonsense. I want us to raise girls differently where boys and girls start to see sexuality as something that they own, rather than something that a boy takes from a girl.
We must also raise our sons differently. We are doing grave disservice to boys in how we raise them. We stifle the humanity of boys. We define masculinity in a very narrow way. Masculinity becomes this hard, small cage and we put boys inside the cage.
WE TEACH BOYS TO BE AFRAID OF FEAR. We teach boys to be afraid of weakness, of vulnerability. We teach them to mask their true selves, because they have to be, in Nigeria’s speak, a hard man.
What if both boys and girls were raised not to link masculinity with money. What if the attitude was not that the boy has to pay, but rather, whoever has more should pay. Of course because of the historical advantage, it is mostly men who will have more today; but if we start raising our children differently, then in 50 years, in 100 years, boys will no longer have the pressure to prove their masculinity.